Confidence comes over time, and my confidence has certainly taken a hit recently. I’ve talked of needing to change a couple of time, I’ve talked of the fear of being found wanting and this crisis of self belief has been at the core of my problems. It’s also one of the things I have some level of control over.
I’ve come to accept as people we are flawed, not necessarily in a bad way, but flawed none the less. The self help groups, media gurus and book publishers have a lot of skin invested in convincing us that we can be “perfect”, when we are not and never will be perfect.
And I think that’s OK.
This is an OK with a caveat. While I’m OK with being a flawed individual, I’m also working to minimize my flaws. It’s not going to stop me working hard, taking myself out of the comfort zone and into the darker parts of life in a quest to be better, but I’m not trying to be the perfect person the self help industry promises you is possible.
This is simply recognition of one of the things that make us human. My flaws are unique to me, and accepting these flaws are part of who I am makes live so much simpler.
A question that came up for me this week was how do I feel about not being perfect?
I though about this for a while, and am still working through parts of it and the answer is wrapped up in where do I want to be. Accepting flaws initially sounded like giving some responsibility for my situation and throwing it to the wind and calling it chance.
The more I thought about it the more wrong I found this idea of delegation or abdication of responsibility was. The destination and journey is absolutely in my hands.
Understanding we are flawed is initially tough, identifying those flaws even harder and accepting that those flows are here to stay is really hard. But the truth can be hard, and it can really hurt self confidence.
Spelling out a few truths, however unpalatable initially knocks another hole in my confidence, but ultimately facing these flaws, accepting them will slowly build and strengthen it.
Baby steps, and even then it’s one baby step at the time.
6 Comments
Life isn’t enjoyable if your goal is to always be perfect. The best times we have are in our flawed moments.
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