The last week has been an interesting week, and I get I’m going to piss some people off today, but my ex had had no problem doing the same to me this week so like for like…
My ex keeps score with money, while that’s a general statement and there are exceptions, I also (and have had recent conformation with what she feels she is owed) believe it to be true. It goes back a few years when (and I quote) ”I’m high maintenance, but I earn XXX and can support”. My role in the supporting was once again minimized and that particular statement turned out not be true when we financially separated.
At this point I do want to separate value from money, she was always looking for, and was very good at finding value for money. I learned many lessons about where and how to shop for value. I’m a guy, I just want to get in and out, shopping for extended periods is not my thing.
One of the problems with keeping score with $ is that it tends to distort how you see it. Take this week, at the beginning of the month my ex was unable to pay her share of the mortgage. When I questioned why she told me that if I don’t pay it it’s my problem (and again I have the email to back all this up) and I need to look after it.
I had an e-mail promising that I’d see the money by the 15th of November. I went ahead and covered the mortgage.
Of course the 15th comes around and nothing, not even an e-mail to say it’s not going to happen, no reason, just nothing. This is not the first time she’s broken a written commitment about money. I’ve given her a week and I’ve had enough of the feet dragging and bullshit she is talking.
Take the interrogatories for example, they were due on the 20th of September, and I had mine submitted on that date, I’ve updated them since, but today is the 20th of November and after talking to my lawyer yesterday she is still not ready.
A mutual friend shared a couple of theories and tried to give some context. I get that, she is scared because it took her five months to find a job, I hope she enjoys what she is doing now. But ultimately she expected to find a job quickly and she did not. The second is because she feels “I owe her”. I’ve paid well over half the joint bills for the last five years and have the report to prove it. This is “empirical evidence”, not someone’s public claims on the wild west of the internet.
Like every story, there is my side, her side and the truth.
I’ve never discussed her financial details with anyone other than my lawyer, yet she feels that sharing details of my finances to be perfectly acceptable. I’m tired and I’m pissed off…
1 Comment
Dave, the more I see and hear, the more I understand why you are PO’ed, You are right to be. It will all come out and it will work out just fine in the end for you, I think the community here knows that. Failing to pay any mortgage and then going to Hawaii, does not look good.
Mike