I got an interesting e-mail a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been sitting on it deciding what to do. It seems one of the rumours my ex is putting around is that she now believes I never went through OS. As with other accusations she has made, either first hand or by proxy, she has seen much evidence to the contrary, but it does not fit her argument and so is discarded.
First I’ve never been so upset at an accusation, she wants a fight and has reverted to type in clearly wanting to be right. Being right is so important that she is happy to discard conversations and other evidence that did not fit into her hypothesis.
She has been part of conversations between my parents and myself about how I felt. She has listened to my mother and I argue and get emotional about her not being able to deal with it. She was there when dad described his reaction and how he coped.
Then there was the conversation with a close friend about how my ex-wife sat in her car crying and stated that she could not handle it if anything was wrong with me just before she left for Colorado. Yet my ex-wife denied any such moment, as my lawyer put it, she is my ex for a reason.
There were whole conversations over martinis about what happened when my close friend took me to chemo appointments. We talked about my reactions to the drugs, we discussed how I was afterwards, the tuna sandwiches and cleaning up after me. But none of these conversations fit into her argument, so they must be discarded rather than her argument is invalidated. These are not imagined discussions, these were talks that happened while she was sitting there.
Then there is what she saw, she saw how over the first year we knew each other she even commented on how much more often I needed to shave compared to when we first met.
None of these points fit into her argument, so instead of maybe modifying her argument she decided to discard the parts that don’t fit and be right. One thing I learned years ago about my ex is she needs to be right, and if not right then less wrong that the other party.
I’ve found four or five incidences where I believe that first hand evidence has been discarded in order to validate her point of view.
However, here was so much first hand and primary evidence that she decided to ignore it’s rather pathetic and as she feels the need to play this out in public I feel justified in responding. This is just one example of the lengths she will go too in order to be right, at least in her own mind.
I’m not realistic enough to expect her to admit to being wrong) she has discarded them to validate herself. This is a woman who perjured herself during her previous divorce. She was determined to go to court in that case, what I now understand is an almost delusion sense of right, she lied about the repayment terms of $5000. She claimed in court that it was a gift, when in reality it was a loan and she knew that.
As for my first hand evidence of the perjury accusation, she told me. She said at the time she knew it was a lie and she was under oath. Should anyone be interested I’m happy to supply the case number, everything I’ve had to say about the perjury is public record.
By the way, court did not go well for her that time…
Once again, unlike the anonymous posters out there, I stand by everything I’ve said here. It seems playing this out in public is what she wants.
