As time goes on it keeps getting more and more ridiculous. We’ve been through the car insurance drama (apparently my fault) and so much more (also all my fault), and the latest is my ex deciding not to provide medical insurance for her kids. Over the last year I’ve heard the “I’m just being a great parent” or “It’s for the kids” or some other version of this so many times in response to decisions she has made
Living in a house she can’t afford – it’s for the kids… … Not paying for medical insurance… Deciding she does not have to make the car payment… Not paying the loan she took out back…Leaving the house a total shithole… Spending $1900 playing poker in Las Vegas while out of work… You get the idea, except for the last couple; those are total white trash…
Yet time and time again her actions have not actually matched her “it’s for the kids” words. The kids were allowed to live in that place with dog feces in the living room and so on (the photos are on the site). She spent years putting down their father because he was deadbeat, and then she spent months doing exactly the same things she condemned him for. It’s the hypocrisy.
I knew she got the job in Renton before she did. Did she really thing HR would not at least make a courtesy call before employing someone with a current employee has a restraining order against? I know what she said in November about unemployment running out and not paying the mortgage for the house was total bullshit. Just so many lies and excuses time and time again in an attempt to justify her decisions. One thing work is good at, following processes.
A lawyer put it best and said “when you keep score with money you would be surprised what people can justify to themselves.”
I get the commute from Snohomish to Renton is crappy, but to use that as an excuse to your friends for the house being a total shit hole? Really?
The latest in the long line of lies is over the kids again. She got put onto her own medical insurance on the first of January, this took her by surprise and from conversations from her friends I understand her plan was for me to continue paying her and her children’s medical insurance.
Unfortunately with the insurance at her work if you do not nominate the policy you wish to be on the company assigns you one. It’s all clearly laid out on the benefits website.
Not only does it give you 31 days from the date of eligibility to decide what policy you want to be on, it also clearly says “and your dependents”, what’s more it clearly lists dependents as including (drum roll) kids!!!
So of course one of the questions between lawyers was why her kids are not on her insurance, after all remember being a providing parent is so important to her after being so critical of their deadbeat dad… She had the option, and because it’s all about money for her she thought she would get a win by stuffing me with the bill. Has not quite worked out the way she wanted. She had the option, it was even open for 31 days, but decided not to take it.
There are other lies and marginal truths in the letter to my lawyer, and we’ll get into those some time. Her family read this blog, I get a regular visitors from Castro Valley (I love analytics) and a couple of her friends have contacted me worried about her and her state. She is lying to her lawyer, extensively to her family and friends.
She is not about being an involved parent, she is the selfish, self absorbed individual more worried about being right than a good parent or person. Being called a hypocrite is one of the worst things you can call her, but it’s so true. She just has to think about which of her friends are no longer returning her calls and hopefully she will understand how lonely her life is.
We make our choices and live by the consequences, hers are starting to spiral further and further out of control. I love my life; rediscovering this incredible journey and I have some wonderful the people in my life. It’s a shame she can’t find the same.
Among those consequences is this post, she decided to have this play out in the public and I feel I have no choice but to respond in kind. If she wants this to go away then it’s really simple, all she needs to do is take responsibility for her actions and deal with the issue. She can live in the web of lies, she can make me out to be what ever she wants, she is doing that anyway and I’m a big boy and can handle it. I’ve been far from perfect and I’m owning and dealing with that, I just want her to do the same.
Edit – I had a couple of details incorrect and have corrected that, sorry about that.
2 Comments
Unfortunately one of the bio-parents co-opting the stepparent in this way happens far more often than it should. In the bio-parents eyes you were there to replace the bio-parent with out the permission of anyone involved and there was little chance, especially as it was done without your knowledge.
This is another clear example of parents not putting the children first. As a parent myself I find it incredible how many selfish parentes there are in the world who think of themselves and their needs first. Add the animosity between the two bio-parents and it was all strongly stacked against you.
I feel for you, I’ve been stuck in the same situation providing for other peoples kids because they just prefer not too. It’s one thing is the parent is unable too, but when they have make the choice not to provide for their children it shows the sort of person they are.
They are supposed to be the parent and it seems made a choice and as the previous message said did not put the children first, but her selfish needs. You are not alone in going through this sort of stuff, there are a lot of bad, selfish parents out there.