Manly-man movie list…

It’s two weeks since I got cut open and just about four weeks since I found out this was more than an ear infection and it’s been an intense time.

For a start I’d forgotten how much going through this sucks, it truly does. I’ve done a few hours at work this week and that’s been good, even if just to prove I can do it to myself. As for the stuff I’d forgotten (or more accurately brain dumped for good reason)… For some “issues” there is an iPhone app for that (SitOrSquat, the title is pretty self explanatory), for others I’m looking towards good drugs (a lot of pain last weekend) to make life easier. Like everything else, this too shall pass.

Last week I was taken out too the Cameron Diaz movie Bad Teacher. Two things, first it was awful and second I actually felt pretty good after a couple of hours of crap comedy and popcorn. Not a bad evening, even if the movie was horrendous.

The holiday weekend did not go as well, I was out of things pretty badly for a day or two over the weekend. Again a lot of pain around the operation site, but mostly feeling crappy and taking some very strong antibiotics. During this down time I spent some time thinking about the perfect movie library for me to help me get through days like this.

So the question was given limited shelf/hard drive space, what are the dozen movies that would make up the core of a manly-man collection?

There should be big epic war movies, a gritty Western or two, the occasional invasion from outer space, perhaps an agreeable drama with lots of violence and there is certainly space for a black comedy on the list.

The ground rules are simple,

• There should be little romance and what there is should be tangential to the plot. Sex is fine.
• There should be a plot, and twists are perfectly acceptable but should not take away from the action
• If it’s historic, it should be mostly accurate. Yeah that’s subjective and of course the victor writes the history books.
• I get words like “epic” and “spectacular” are subjective, but this is my list.
• Great lines can only add to a movie.

So, to the top 12, a lot of thought went into this.

1. Dr Strangelove – Peter Sellers and Stanley Kubrick were both geniuses, a label thrown around way too often, but in his case it was deserved. Then add Buck Turgison (George C. Scott) and the bomber pilot “King” Kong (Slim Pickens) riding the bomb down at the end with all sorts of homoerotic overtones. The blackest of black comedies and should be in every guys library.
2. The Longest Day – The best war movie ever made, I’d argue it’s without parallel in the genre. A great cast gives a realistic, powerful telling of one of the greatest stories on the 20^th century. Great direction and superior filmmaking give it the edge over
3. A Bridge Too Far – Second best war movie ever made, accurately (for a war movie) tells the true story of Operation Market Garden, it’s failings, the people and the personal sacrifice. Like The Longest Day no Hollywood hyperbole was required as the story is unbelievable enough already.
4. The Unforgiven – The best western in years and Clint Eastwood played it so well.
5. Master and Commander – edges out Gladiator and 300 because none of the guys wear skirts, but I’d consider augments for both Ridley Scott’s best film and 300 because “Xerxes” is just fun to say and so many great quotes.
6. True Grit – I remember watching this (the John Wayne version) with my grandfather. I recently re-watched it again and it stood the test of time very well. Great western and a great story.
7. The Godfather – Certainly part I and II and you may as well add III for completeness. This was the ultimate mafia movie.
8. Star Wars – It redefined the genre, I really don’t think I need to say anything else here.
9. 2001 – A Space Odyssey – It takes a while to get there, and once you understand what is going on the end is rather satisfying. I wish I’d seen it on the big screen, the special affects still stand with what’s being produced today, and it’s over 40 years old.
10. Bullit – Steve McQueen playing the cop who breaks the rules to get the man, a great car chase does only adds to the movie.
11. Italian Job (the original) Michael Caine playing, well Michael Caine for the want of a better way to put it. The best car chase movie ever
12. Goldfinger – Connery is the movie Bond, that’s just how it is. The girls, airplanes, great lines, mafia, gunfights, memorable characters by the busload, the big production finish and of course the Aston DB5. This was was a close run thing as latest version of Casino Royale may be a better movie, but this is the one that set the formula.

Honourable mentions:

• Blade Runner – Dark but so atmospheric, great special effects and a wonderful story that gives sympathy to both sides.
• In Bruges – I was rather late to this party, but such a good story of failed redemption and friendship
• Shaun of the Dead – There are a lot of good zombie movies and this is my favorite with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, unfortunately it’s only a reserve as there is that whole romance between Shaun and Liz.
• Logan’s Run – Michael York and Jenny Agutter eventually see the world for what it really is and bringing down the system. The book is also well worth the effort.
• Oceans 11 (the remake) the original is a fun movie, but seems primarily there to provide an excuse for the rat pack to go to Vegas for a month and have someone else pick up the bill. The remake is just a great heist movie with humour, great characters and a good back-story. O12 was a disappointment, but O13 went back to basics and pulled it off.
• Empire Strikes Back – The best of the six Star Wars movies. The Empire comes out on top, the characters grow and is kinda dark in places, but a little too much romance to make the top 12.
• Blues Brothers – Love this movie, I discovered it in my teens, there is the music, the comedy and of course the car chase.
• CE3K – I can watch this movie over and over again, Richard Dreyfuss is great and I once shared a flight with Bob Balaban (the interpreter) and I got to be an annoying fanboy.
• Great escape – OK, the true story was butchered by Hollywood, but Steve McQueen was so cool.
• Hot fuzz – So damn funny, the buddy-cop movie moved to rural England
• Star Trek (the reboot) – The franchise needed this and the tying in of Spock was very well done.
• Clerks – Kevin Smith gets a couple of mentions, but there is a reason behind that, his humour seems to match mine rather well.
• Kelly’s Heroes – Donald Sutherland as Oddball is almost typecasting, so entertaining
• Flight of the Phoenix – There really had to be a James Stewart film somewhere, and this was him at his at his heroic best
• The Maltese Falcon – watched this last year late one night with dad. As with Stewart, there had to be a Bogart movie on the list
• Animal House – John Belushi was good in The Blues Brothers and brilliant in this one.
• Zulu – Almost made the top 12, Michael Caine
• Dogma – Alanis Morisette as god, Chris Rock, Matt Damon and so on, a great comedy cast and wonderfully told by Kevin Smith
• Casino Royale – A very important Bond movie, it updated the series and brought it into the 21^st century; with out this I think Bond may have died.
• Caddy Shack – Carl v’s the gopher, and the gopher wins
• Tropic Thunder – OK, the story is a little tenuous at best, but some of the best physical comedy I’ve seen for a while. Jack Black has some great moments.
• The Hangover – It was a long time since I laughed this hard at a movie (I think it was Jackass-2, which does not say good things about me). The blu-ray has even more photos from the weekend in Vegas.
• The Aristocrats – Not the Disney movie, this one is a documentary about a joke and is awesome.
• District 9 – There is not been much good, original Sci-fi around recently, this is one of the exceptions.
• Return of the Jedi – Really George you needed to stoop to Ewoks? Almost did not make the list.