What was on my bedside cabinet this year?

It’s no secret the last three years has seen some quite astounding emotional churn and coming out the other side I’ve done so much to help myself. Some of what I did turned out to be a great idea, getting the courage to leave a bad relationship tops that list. While others… Let’s just say they were not so brilliant. I’ll be talking about both the highs and lows, and some of the people involved some time soon.

If we talk about the journey then it’s been remarkable. Rediscovering deep and meaningful friendships with some very important people in my life, understanding just who I really am and how I got to my low points.

I think it’s been a remarkable journey. I’m not going to be as twee as saying I found myself, I knew who I was and believe that experiences drive us to evolve as we move through this wonderful life. Part of that change has been doing more reading. I created a couple of comfortable places in my house that I can quietly sit, often with a cat hanging out with me.

If you spend time in bookshops you’ll know is that there shelves of books that claim to provide shortcuts to great knowledge, unlimited happiness and deep wisdom. I’m not a huge believer in self help books, and very skeptical of the giant claims, I discovered there was a lot of nonsense talked and finding great books really is something of a lottery.

One of the thing to note was that every book except one on this list was recommended to me, or given to me by someone I trust. Only “The case for Working With Your hands” was picked up off the shelf, and that was in the “Transport” shelf.

Some books have allowed me to understand my actions and why. Others have maybe inspired me. Certainly one or two have helped me reach my goals, while a couple have allowed me a little escape when I needed it.

My reading list has been eclectic and wide, on purpose, I did not know what (if anything) I was looking for and made some wonderful discoveries. The subject matter in some of these books are a little controversial and I understand not for everyone, but each one was difficult to put down.
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The Happiness Project – Gretchen Rubin

This is something I’ve had on my book shelf for a while, I dipped into it once or twice, subscribed to he newsletter (excellent by the way), her twitter feed (again excellent). It takes pieces of familiar advise, modern culture, the need of order, that stability is important and mixes them up into a cohesive idea. It is about focusing on what really maters, that a little adventure and discomfort can provide a huge difference in how we view our world.

No More Mr Nice Guy – Robert Glover

Recommended by my therapist. The title is misleading, this is about finding confidence and helping men reclaim their lives. It was scary how close to home this hit, to the point of wanting to put it down in the first chapter, and again in pretty much every chapter afterwards. The biggest take away is also the most obvious – I am the only person on this planet responsible fulfilling my needs and wants, I am responsible for setting boundaries and ensuring they are respected. The self-respect is where confidence comes from, nowhere else.

The Case for Working with your Hands – Matthew Crawford

So I now spend my days sitting in cubeville, but I started working by learning a trade. In my case it was being an aircraft mechanic. Growing up that’s what we did, we left school and learned a skilled trade. And while I enjoy what I do, I’ve always found satisfaction with working with my hands. Fixing the car, building a bench or understanding how something works. This book is about being emotionally connected, it’s a wonderful read.

SlideRule – Nevil Shute

Best known for the classic “On the Beach” this is the autobiography of engineer and author Nevil Shute. One of the themes throughout the book (and indeed his writing generally) is that there is dignity and pride in skilled work and doing what is right, even if it’s not easy.

Phoenix Squadron – Rowland White

The story of a little known footnote in British military history brilliantly brought to life. It tells the true story of a long range mission to do a little flag waving and warn the neighbors to stand down. It’s about using the resources at hand to make a difference.

Outliers – Malcom Gladwell

There has been a lot written about this book, it’s about success. So are thousands of other books, what makes this different is it looks behind the person into what shaped them

Girlvert – Oriana Small

This is not for the faint of heart, it’s a very raw story of a journey that I really can’t imagine taking. Nothing is sugar coated and we are taken to some very dark places. It’s clearly not for everyone, but if you can deal with the subject matter it’s an inspiring journey. It really is quite something.

Bletchley Park – Sinclair McKay

A wonderful tribute to some remarkable people taken from many walks of life who made a huge, but largely unsung, contribution to winning the war.

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