A few weeks ago I spoke about a friend whose daughter is getting ready to study in London for a semester. I get quizzed daily about what’s different in England, what does she need to take and so on. It’s like she is preparing her eldest for a trip up Everest rather than to one of the most cosmopolitan and exciting cities on the planet.
Not only that there is indoor plumbing and sealed roads, at least as far north as Manchester. Beyond there lay dragons, but up to then it’s fine.
A large part of the problem is she totally buys into stereotypes, not just a little either, I mean totally. I’ve never even worn a bowler hat, let alone owned one and worn it to work every day like a city banker of 30 years ago. Yet somehow Amanda seemed slightly taken aback by this strange confession.
As I said before, this is a smart, educated woman whose view of the world seems to come from reality TV (dear god…) and the more pulpy romance novels (not the ones my friends in my writing group author, those are can’t-put-down page turners).
She was also a little disappointed that she was not going to run into the Queen picking up some groceries in Fortnum and Mason.
So today I got an instant message from Amanda, as I do most days, this time asking about queuing and why the British are so good about it. I’ve stopped asking where these things come from, the answer was invariably the BBC news. I made the mistake of saying she should watch it and maybe learn something about the country she was sending her daughter off too.
The news story was something about the public transport and the upcoming Olympics. She saw a couple of dozen people standing in line for the bus, an orderly queue and nothing unusual there. She was amazed that once the bus arrived there was no pushing and shoving, decorum was maintained and people got into the bus.
This really astounded her, and she comes from Seattle, not New York where order is seen as a weakness.
Things like orderly queuing is not done for fun, but because people realize that civilization needs rules, and norms like this are useful in maintaining an orderly society.
I likened it to going to a restaurant. We go out to lunch occasionally and every place we go has a sign that says, “Please wait to be seated” and then someone will show you to your table and make sure the server knows we are there.
So I asked, what would happen if you bypassed the sign and just sat down?
“Well you might not get served, but I’d never do that, they are there to help me see that I get my lunch…”
This was her lightbulb moment, she got it. “
“It’s one of those rules that we instinctively follow. A norm that makes us civilized.”
Just like queuing for a bus or parking a car using only one space…
3 Comments
I hope your friend’s daughter returns home with her eyes opened to the joy of travel and discovers that stereotypes are just that and not reality. Your best advice to her could be to avoid hanging out with other American students while in the U.K. so that she can actually experience another way of life. She may not see the Queen at Fortnum & Mason or Harrod’s food halls, but she may run into Kate and Will at Tesco!
Travel and spending time with people from other cultures leads to many rich experiences and understandings. I hope your friends daughter sees the world and this is just the start of a life time of discovery.
Dave, great writing and I look forward to more
Wonderful writing Dave, thank you for sharing. I do hope your friends daughter has the time of her life in this great city.
Travel makes the world accessible and provides so much pleasure.